The KoalMole

by Matt Gorman


Hello….And welcome to your personal Chimara-Dex….You have currently stumbled upon the rare and mighty KoalMole….This Legendary creature hails from the depths of the earth….You have probably found it by stubbing your toe on one of its nostrils….as they are long, protruding, pink, stiff, and flesh penetrating….all the way around….When encountering this quasi offbreed demon from the nightmares of Hades….do not run, as this creature’s very stubby hind legs are like springs….able to leap into the air from the innards of the Earth….bound from branch to branch….and proceed to beg for you eucalyptus leaves….do not attempt to capture KoalMole…. you will only anger him….just give him your eucalyptus….and move on about the day….there was once KoalMole in my backyard….he had paws like a crossbreed of Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands….I tried to feed him an oak leaf….he climbed on top my waist with his tree-climbing abilities….and commandeered my wallet with his dirt-digging powers…and left….The store down the street reported a recent increase in eucalyptus sales….KoalMole.