The Invention of the Puglephant

by Molly Brown

In the savannah of Africa there once resided an elephant, whose amazing trunk created deep seeded jealousy in her peers. It was strong and lean, good for reaching food and drinking. But most of all it attracted all the male elephants, which simply pissed off the other females more. But little did she know that her perfect life would come to ruin, leaving her arrogance her final companion in the coming years.

A cozy mansion in London, England once held a pug of perfect pedigree, his smooshy face and heavy breathing something sought by all the lady pugs in town. And his master was oh so proud of the stinky creature and wished to reward him for being the most stupendous dog of all. Thus they travelled to the hot plains of the savannah, traipsing across the high grass with the gusto of two bachelors. They camped there for seven days and seven nights, taking in the magnificent creatures of the African continent.

But the Pug was hooked by the amazing trunk of an elephant that passed them that night. And whilst his master slept he slunk from the tent, spending the night in the grassy flat land. The man and his prized best friend travelled home the next morning, but the elephant remained.

And this is where it gets weird.

For nearly two year the elephant carried the memory of that night, until he was born in his… not so special glory. Now this is not the first child she had ever had, but he was certainly the ugliest. His smashed face made his brown eyes look black from squinting, the only piece protruding a half trunk covered in bumps. To say the least, she finds him repulsive, covered in tan hair tufts over a gray-ish under skin that looks molted.

I told you it was weird.

But the newly dubbed “puglephant” had some very special gifts. For one, he could strut like a purebred, furry chest out and proud. And his half bark, half elephant noise scared any predators and poachers far away. To say the least this is no ugly duckling story, for his mixed heritage made him confident and so different that no other creature on earth could compare. Thus, as the beautiful trunked elephant hated her son, the rest of the herd gave no shits. Instead they flocked to the puglephant and he grew up. He grew up big and strong, spreading his talents across the mighty savannah, and when he died he took with him his biological mystery. But he is still remembered in the hot fields of Africa, whispered about amongst the lions and hyenas; amongst the poachers and hunters. The invention of the puglephant.